you really breaks my heart.

i was shocked when u told me u want to smoke.whatt???at first, i tot u're joking.but u said that u want to smoke once in a while.and u're serious.hst my mm..deep in my heart i pray that u just want to test my reaction.but no, u're really serious.i'm scared syg, imagining that the person i love want to start a very horrible attitude. if u do love me,please don't start it.for the sake of our future.u know how much i love u syg.u really breaks my heart.

14 november 2010

abah operate hari ni.cancer buah pinggang.semua org takut sb doc ckp operation ni sgt2 high risk. lepas 6 jam tgu abah,dari pukul 11 pg sampai 5ptg, doc pgl waris encik mohamad bin sabtu.tekejut gak.mak yg sakit lutut, xlarat nk jalan, tiba2 jalan laju sgt2.yela, risau sgt sb lama sgt operation.supposely 4 jam je.then pg hdw(high dependency ward).semua org yg lepas operation masuk situ dulu sementara nk stabil.mak masuk dgn along dulu.the rest tgu kt luar.i cant imagine hw i feel that time.then, tgu punya tgu, mak keluar dr blk tu.mak ckp doc xbg pg dekat sb xsetel lg.dipendekkan cerita,last2 boleh pi tgk abah.masuk je dlm ward tu,npk ramai yg br lepas operation.kesian sgt.semua org npk baring dlm keadaan sakit.horror sgt.abah pulak dah sedar,bius dah habis.tp abah xbenti2 pgl mak.sedih sgt2..mlm tu, xboleh tgu abah.kesian kt abah,dh la sakit sgt2,xdak sapa tgu pulak tu..pg esok,dok call, ckp abah pindah masuk icu.abah mcm xbp sedar sb doc bg ubat tahan sakit and morphine.semgu dok still bg ubat tahan sakit.tp makin lama makin kurang.lepas 2 kali masuk icu, in 3 weeks, abah boleh discharge.alhamdulillah, now abah dah makin ok.sepanjang abah kt hospital, my mum n i yg teman.mlm2 abah xboleh tido sb sakit.everyday, i pray to god and hope that i can share his pain.i cant stand looking at him, suffering because of the surgery.tambah pulak, kena tebuk a few parts sb paru2 abah berair.mcm2 dugaan abah dpt.hopefully, lepas ni abah xkan kena operation dah.

a moment

even we didn't manage to spend our time together very often, 

we still could steal a few second to be together. but still,

we fight, we laugh, we talk and we try to compose

everything in a few seconds.but in less than one week

, again, we'll be separated.but this time, it would be a  

very very very long time..hmm..

ps:already missing u dear.

penteman dan penduduk

mr.spider(br check-in td)

blossom and bubbles

buttercup

made in Beijing

momo

mr. chEff

mi goreng special  

mi goreng specially made from my rizal.thanks syg.actually, sedap.tp u letak lada byk sgt.hehe..next time msk mende lain pulak tau... :)

'loved' it!

meja org nk exam

subject2 yg saya sayangi dan menyayangi saya ialah:

• Islamic worldview
• Building Construction 1
• Principle of Structure 1
• Measurement
• Environmental Material Science
• Principle of Estimating 1

sekian terima kasih.

döublE mindEd

i was wondering how would it be if i didnt manage to further my study in uia, instead i'll be taking twinning programme for becoming a teacher. maybe it wont be this hard to study 10 subjects *which i did it in the last minutes* along with a large 'bundle' of assignments. i'm not saying that i'm regretting it all of sudden after the whole semester has past through my time.. i never tot that it would be that hard to survive and achieve the goals that i've picked from the begining. i know it is too late to think about it.but it's just a moment that i spend to think all the options that i've took. does it worth it? 

i miss the moment when i'm hoping that i'm not a school student anymore. eventhough it was the hardest moment i've been through, but i still have time to see mak and abah almost every week.but now, i'm hundreds miles away from them..i miss them more than they can miss me.